BFP Volume 8

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Volume 4

 

November 2010

Bigger than the Beatles

Typos

100s if Not Thousands Dead

 

Editorial Policy

Insane Clown Posse

Russ and Dee Fine

BFP nemisises Russ and Dee Fine

I'm not sure if it's the Alabama Tea party Network, the Alabama Tea party Patriots, or the Alabama Tea party Express but a Russ and Dee Fine claim to have started it. Now they have come out and thrown their support behind the democratic nominee for governor of Alabama Ron Sparks.

For our millions of readers outside of the Birmingham area it should be noted that Russ and Dee are local radio personalities and long-time nemesises of The Birmingham Free Press. They lost their AM talk show a few years ago in no small part due to the relentless watchdog role played by the tireless reporters who slave day and night to bring truth and justice to the Magic City under the proud banner of the BFP.

Though conservative talk radio is the model of insanity in America today, Russ and Dee took it to a new level. If you weren't 100% whitey, flag-worshiping, gawd-fearing, foreigner-hating American you were just pure evil. Why would Russ and Dee endorse a democrat when they think that means pinko-commie? It seems like they think that the republican just isn't right-wing crazy enough for them. The logic is basically cut off you nose to spite your face.

Here is the BFP's explaination of a few of the debate tricks used by Russ Fine and others of his ilk on the radio:

First, act like you're reporting the news but only find stories that support your political agenda. If someone shoots a burglar, celebrate the story as an example of why we need more handguns. It might be a good idea to follow it with some canned applause. Be sure to ignore the 10 children that are accidentally shot that day.

Second, if you get cornered rephrase your argument, then change it to something your opponent agrees with and claim victory on your original point. Russ is great at this. One time he was going on about how the mentally ill shouldn't be allowed to vote. Sounds good on the surface, but then a caller phones in and says he's clinically depressed. Rather than admit he was making a dumb point Russ redefined mental illness until it only included the most deranged lunatics.

Third, be incredibly gullible when it comes to believing bad things about your enemy and good things about yourself. According to Russ and Dee, Palestinians don't love their children, they only love murderers and terrorists. The Koran overtly advocates violence but the Bible would never do anything like that. Be sure to keep it simple, 100% good vs. 100% bad.

Forth, if a caller is making a sophisticated point that you don't agree with catch him on a technicality, like a mispronounced word, then declare his whole argument wrong. Sound bites are much better than complicated explanations on temporal media like talk radio.

Fifth, let your callers lie for you. Be sure to object to an occasional wild accusation to maintain some credibility.

Sixth, compare your opponent to Hitler. Russ is the King of this. Bet you didn't know that Hitler was a "liberal" and the Nazis were politically correct.

Seventh, if you bring on guests to debate find the dumbest burned out hippy to represent the Left.

Finally, if all else fails go to a commercial.

Internet Healed the Radio Scars

Ding Dong, Russ and Dee Off the Radio

Hate Speech Celebrated on Birmingham Radio

 

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