BFP Volume 8

Headline News

Murder Most Foul

The Case of the Missing Bohemian

Haunted Castle

Ancient Map

Nerd's Fantasy

Classic BFP



Volume 4



Headline News

Local News

Offbeat News

Entertainment News

Science News



June 2010

Roy Moore's God
Forsaketh Him

Surprise, Surprise. Roy Moore's second bid for governor has ended in an early defeat. Not even the republicans would stand behind him. Is this guy legally allowed to call himself a judge? Wasn't he fired?

Here's a book review of Moore's bizarre autobiography.

The Obama Affair

The most amazing thing about the Obama administration up to this point is that there have been no bimbo eruptions. Is it possible the man is not a womanizer? He looks like one. We all knew the last democratic president was a sex addict when he was elected. Of course this didn’t stop the republicans from feigning indignation when he got caught red-handed. I guess the thought of heterosexual sex is kind of icky for the closeted.

Yet there has been a “rumor” of an affair between Obama and campaign worker, Vera Baker, back in 2004. Baker was National Finance Director for the then Senator’s campaign. Currently she is on the Caribbean island of Martinique where, rumor has it, she was banished by the First Lady. The sorted affair was supposed to have taken place in one passionate night at the Hotel George in Washington D.C. There have been hints of a video of the pair in a “compromising position,” but the Birmingham Free Press, despite our limitless resources, has not been able to track it down.

Tabloid publications like The Globe and The National Enquirer have been hotly pursuing the story but have yet to come up with any hard evidence. The National Enquirer might be dismissed by many, but it must be remembered that it was that publication that got the scoop on Bristol Palin’s baby, John Edward’s affair, Monica Lewinsky etc. It is its willingness to go to press with little or no evidence that makes The National Enquirer the beloved institution that it is today. Newspapers can legally print anything, no matter how scandalous, but it has to be true. Thus the constant qualifications like “according to our ‘sources’” and allegedly. Have you heard that Glenn Beck allegedly raped and murdered a girl back in 1980? Hey look, that’s what our sources told us.

What is so amazing about the Obama affair story is that it has failed to take hold. It would seem that there is no rumor about the president so outrageous that a large percentage of right-wingers won’t buy into it. If they are willing to believe Obama is some sort of foreign-born, communist, Muslim, Manchurian candidate out to destroy America, why not something as common as an affair? Handsome, powerful men seem to fall into this temptation all the time. Long hours alone with attractive, young assistants seems a recipe for disaster.

Legitimate news organizations like ABC and NBC News are said to have interviewed the limo driver that dropped Baker off at the Hotel George. He confirmed that the two were together the night of May 18, 2004. But being together can mean going at it like a republican congressman and a male “escort,” or it could mean crunching numbers and eating pizza.

© 2010 The Birmingham Free Press