Francis

Francis was born blind but suddenly received his vision seconds before steping onto a busy highway. Struck by a speeding milk truck Francis once again lost his eyesight after a mere twelve seconds of being able to see. “Man, that was bright,” he often muttered.

The milk truck’s radio was playing a popular song of the day called It’s Raining Men by none other than Anna Himalaya. The song never left poor Francis’ thoughts. As the years past he grew more and more insane as that one song repeated itself in his head over and over again incessantly.

During one of her many charity hospital tours Anna came across the blind giant. “And how are you feeling today?” she asked him. Hearing her voice Francis leaped at the starlet and grabbed her ferociously around the neck. Several orderlies leaped on the madman futilely attempting to rescue the celebrity. Francis easily tossed off his attackers and continued his death grip on the famous Anna Himalaya.

But as everyone knows Anna Himalaya was more than just a star of the stage and screen, more than just a Nobel Prize winning physicist, more than just a peace broker between superpowers and even more than the famous astronaut who first encountered intelligent life outside the solar system. Anna Himalaya also happened to be a black belt in Karate. Not just an ordinary black belt either, but a super dark, so black you get lost staring in the void belt Karate master. She easily broke away from Francis’ powerful grip and commenced to balance on one toe and spin around in circles. Lightning fast she poked two fingers, stooge-style, right in Francis’ milky gray eyes. For a split second he regained his vision for the second time just to get a good look at Anna as she poked him in the eyes again returning the huge man to sightlessness.

After that fit of madness Francis was sent to a maximum-security prison for the criminally insane where the song in his head grew louder and louder until it eventually deafened him.

Blind and now deaf Francis still managed to pick the locks on his shackles, build a large glider out of pudding cups, plastic spoons and the springs from his mattress and escape from the heavily guarded jail.

A note found in his cell read, “Gone to kill Anna Himalaya. Be right back.”