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Our exclusive sports columnist... Bear Bryant

Joy Young Restaurant:

High on flavor low on price.

The Magic city's first "Oriental" style restaurant reviewed by our favorite connoisseur and glutton Bear Bryant.

The sweet smell of opium and egg rolls whiffed through the air as me and my lovely dinner companion entered the new "far eastern" style restaurant at 412 20th St. North. Candy, a buxom prostitute I picked up in Centerpoint, and I, have never eaten together, at least not food. But seeing as how the editorial staff of the BFP has promised to reimburse my meal* and I have no friends or relatives, she seemed like the perfect date.

I ordered fried chicken and Candy asked for a cheeseburger with an order of fries. We were dumbfounded when we found out that these Orientals don't eat regular food, but rather snails, noodles and crap like that. The waiter told me that his kind doesn't eat cheese, they find it repulsive. His kind? I know what his kind is, a bunch of commies. That's what they are.

So I ordered a number 1 and Candy shot for the moon and had a number 2. When the food finally arrived we were drunk to the gills. Not that the service was necessarily slow, but rather that we started early and drank fast. I was surprised that I wasn't served man's best friend. "I thought you people ate dogs," I politely remarked. The waiter must have been hard of hearing. He didn't respond.

I guess if you like weird foreign food it was all right. But we're going to stick to barbecue from now own.

Bear Bryant

*We said no such thing.