Features
BIRTH OF A CONFERENCE

The infamous "Bear" Bryant founded the township of Birmingham way back in 1913, when he chopped down that pesky cherry tree, turned to the restless crowd and said, "How 'bout that?" And, of course, the crowd burst into the "cheer heard 'round the world."

The Bear then declared college football the official religion, language, and Thing to Talk About, before heading off to the Middle East to join the Crusades. After learning the Crusades had ended centuries ago, he kayaked to the Congo in order to study rare insects, which he crushed under his cleats. "One less vermin!" he would cry.

Finally,though, in 1914, the pleas for help from home overwhelmed him. The Holy German Birmingham Empire, at that time covering the tri-state area, was peopled by many warring tribes. They'd forgotten about football and fought for territory with the sword, the axe and the swing blade.

Setting up headquarters in Tea Town, our beloved hero rallied the faithful to create the superior fighting elite known then as the Tide that Rolls, or the Mauve Tide. Then he implored the other tribes to "turn your swords into skins of swine."

Thus began the rich, hearty and frothy heritage of what we lovingly know today as, simply, South Eastern Conference football.

David Schuman

NEXT WEEK -

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