County Not So Bad After All
Lewis Charles Brown. Ricky Cook. Oliver James Davis. Keith Lavender. Donald Harper. Leroy Smith These unfortunate souls were arrested in Greene County last month for distribution of crack, and now face the harsh possibility of a conviction resulting in at least 80 years of jail time and millions of dollars in fines.
Sounds like a lot of time in prison, doesn't it? Sounds like a lot of money doesn't it? Sounds like a very high penalty drug trafficking, doesn't it? Not if you ask two guys halfway across the world in Saudi Arabia.
Chandra Baboragoon and Muzafar Khan Gul Khan. That's right, our old heroin smuggling friends Muzufar Khan Gul Khan and Chandra Baboragoon, of your India there and also your Pakistan, respectively. These two think the Greene County authorities are saints for their lenient minimum sentencing. They think those guys are getting off scott-free.
And they could have told you so themselves until a couple of days ago, January 8, when they were both relieved of their heads. Yes, friends, a little smack selling will get you a beheading over there in the Middle Ages. These two make four head removals for the year. That's a head every two days.
I wonder if George Dubya has heard about this yet. He might become so overwhelmed with excitement that he just might lose his... no, nope, I'm not gonna do it. I'm just not gonna do it.
Berry Football Players Pass Piss Test
You have to really love football to go through the humiliation of a drug test just to be able to play. Berry Middle school jocks came up crack free when asked to degrade themselves in front of scorning adults. No reefer, no smack, no horse, these youngsters turned out to be totally junk free. "We just assumed these kids were crack-heads," barked an anonymous source from the school board.
When asked if he didn't want to be cool like all the dope fiends, Flash Steeljaw, handsome star quarterback replied, "Man when you've been taking Ritalin as long as all of us have you don't need all that other stuff."
Jack Chick Archives his Entire Collection of Soul Saving Comics and Tracts Online
Now all 140 masterworks are available to anyone with Internet access. This has inspired a cottage industry of Jack Chick parody sites. Just as hateful, but not as well drawn.